Mire to Gold

Everything’s gonna be alright

Rockabye, rockbye.

 (Shaun Mullins, Rockabye)

I sat at the table last night at a restaurant in town.  There was my daughter, looking like a super model, surrounded by her amazing friends from school, a birthday cake in front of her with the number 19 on top. Around me were my closest friends and my two sons, aged 16 and 20.  I couldn’t help but bask in the moment.  My daughter is about to sit her final school exams and forge her own life.  My eldest son is already making his way in life and my youngest son is not far off and seems to have his head screwed on right.  They are good people!  They have turned out to be solid, caring, intelligent young people with a sense of purpose in life and goals for their future.  We have almost ‘arrived’.  We’ve done it.  We’ve made it.  I am almost across the finish line of THIS stage of my parenting.

It’s been a torrid ride getting to TODAY.  A psychopathic ex-husband more bent on corrupting his children for kicks than parenting and nurturing….more bent on using them to cause me angst than protecting their hearts from things they should never have to deal with as children.  He was the type of guy who would offer shots to primary school kids.  One has to question WHY!?!?  You can imagine the two extremes of upbringing that these kids have had!  And here we are.  They are good people!  They are amazing people!  And that’s not just me being biased.  Ask the people who know them.  Ask the teachers, ask the friends, ask the customers, ask the family.  They will tell you.

How did this happen?  If anyone should have been messed up, it should have been my kids.  Especially my daughter.  When she was in Grade 3 her father refused to have anything to do with her and quite literally replaced her for a while, with a smaller, younger, less feisty version, whom he intended on adopting.  This little girl called him Daddy at the time.  She would taunt my daughter.  “Daddy loves me more than he loves you.”  For that and plenty of other reasons, she should be completely messed up, and yet there she sat last night with a number 19 in front of her  surrounded by the solid, well-grounded, intelligent, quality young people that have she has chosen to call ‘friends’.  There she sat, ready to kick arse on her exams….ready to pursue her dream to enlist in the army and fulfill her passion to serve her country in the gutsiest way she can come up with, and who am I to stand in the way?

Here we are at TODAY.  Here I am, Mum of three amazing young adults and surrounded by the most amazing group of friends.  Not just friends….they have become family.  How did we get to today?  When did life become so beautiful?  When did mud, mire and blackness turn to gold?  When did horror turn to joy?

If I could have seen today, back ten years ago, I wouldn’t have worried so much, cried so much, feared so much……but then I wouldn’t have prayed so much either, and I’m glad I prayed.

Today is just my day to marvel and be grateful.  Today is my day to see that the light at the end of the tunnel is now shining brightly and there is such thing as a happy ending.  And for me, there is such thing as a more beautiful time in life and new beginnings.